With a Yes, she married him
young bride in virginal white
starry-eyed lovers, high expectations
spawned from biblical promises
then…
Honeymoon tinged with blood
dripping with cold, wet shock of disappointment
while he writhed in ecstasy, head thrown back
high on new pleasure
she shrank beneath him
cringing at the sharp pain and burn
deep shame
falling short
eyes wide open at his kiss.
“You’re beautiful,” he told her. “My sexy wife.”
His own words spurring his hunger
while her stomach turned to gravel
bile filling her mouth.
Months stretched to years, a decade come and gone
while he filled himself
and she gave, and gave, and gave
an obedient faucet
succumbing to the painful act
his touch turning riverbeds dry
green grass shriveled, trampled underfoot.
She curled alone on her side of the bed
far from his gaze and wandering hands that always sought more.
“What do you want?” he asked
eager for her to know how to fix herself
(but not willing to slow his advance).
A wife must submit.
Her body belonged to him
the Bible said so, see?
What she wanted was to make it all disappear
to give him back his ring
to admit that it was all a mistake
to stop being beautiful. Hide her sexiness in sweatshirts and
dark rooms
but the more she said no, turned away, begged
the more his insistence mounted
determined to subdue his opponent
at any cost.
The word No came with steep price tag
Insults, accusations, financial withdraw
surveillance, imprisonment at home
“You have to,” he told her. “God says so.”
“Then fuck your god,” she snarled, finding her voice
and his fists pummeled her like angry rain.
The price increased.
He strayed
seeking out other females
paying for services
blaming her, taunting her
always her fault
because she said No.
If she had known
that marriage meant she would be his marionette
dancing on short strings of lust
CONSENT tattooed in blood on her forehead
even though his touch ripped her insides
and made her feel like less than dirt
made her hate being called “beautiful”
(which also came at a cost)
Then No
would have been her first word
her loudest word
long before his knee ever dropped to the ground.
