Slow Can Be Mmm Good (aka: Slow Food)

I like a lot of fast things. Running fast. Speeding fast down a deserted stretch of highway. Fast roller coasters (with fast-moving lines). Fast rock songs that leave you breathless after a fast impromptu dance session. The charge of adrenaline, the fast blood pumping through your veins – speed can be quite a rush.

But not always.

slow sunrise heart Sometimes, slow is much, much better than fast. Slow sunrises on a warm summer morning. Slow hikes through a mountain wilderness. And especially, slow food. No, I don’t mean crippled prey that hobbles away as you aim your hunting rifle. I mean sloooow food, as in the opposite of fast food. As in, the slow food movement, which, in case you don’t know, is an entire thing.

There’s some political stuff, too, but to keep it simple, the slow food movement is about three things:

  • Avoiding fast food and processed foods with long lists of ingredients
  • Buying whole foods, then cooking and eating them
  • Making efforts to buy organic, sustainably grown foods from local growers, and even growing your own

There are so many good reasons to avoid fast food, that I could write an entire blog about it. Or, I can point you toward eye-opening books, such as Fast Food Nation or Food, Inc. I try to very rarely eat fast food. Yes, it can be very challenging in today’s fast-paced culture to make meals a slow-paced affair. Believe me – as a single mom of three kids who just happens to be a college student with a job, I get the whole time-crunch defense. Still, I try to find ways to cook healthy meals from scratch for my family on a regular basis. With a little effort, advanced planning, and some help from the kids, I manage to produce homemade soups and stews, veggie-loaded quiches, and pots of thick, spicy chili. We plant a small, organic garden plot each spring, and by summer, enjoy a harvest of juicy cucumbers, crisp green beans, and plump, colorful tomatoes.

more good slow food

Do we ever take shortcuts? Sure! Schedules can get pretty hectic some days, and there is just no time to wait for a casserole to bake. During times like these, we try to turn toward not-so-fast foods – foods that cook quickly, but are still minimally processed, like grilled cheese sandwiches, veggie omelettes, or homemade bean burritos. Foods like these are nutritious and packed with flavor, and can often be prepared faster than a trip to a drive-thru window.

veggies are the best

There’s one more component of the slow food movement which really appeals to me. It is about slowing down and savoring food. Sitting with family and engaging in conversation while eating meals (something I need to work on). Taking a moment out of our busy lives to enjoy the flavors of good, well-prepared foods, and taking comfort in knowing exactly where they came from and how they were produced. There are plenty of moments in our lives when faster is better. Food, however, is much better in the slow lane.

Wine, food and great friends

 

 

Move It Move It (aka: The Fitness Discussion Again)

If you are reading this right now, then chances are you have some sort of New Year’s Resolution in mind.

Yes, you, readers. All five of you.

It may be something subtle, like, “Eh, I probably shouldn’t eat so much fast food this year.” Or some more ambitious goal, like, “This year, I shall lose fifty pounds!”

Um, good luck with that.

According to Nielsen, the two most popular New Year’s Resolutions year after year pertain to weight loss and fitness: losing weight, keeping it off, and getting physically fit. It’s almost as though we actually recognize that our bodies aren’t meant to lie around on the couch as we feed them Cheetos and root beer (ew).

good health New Year

So how do we achieve these goals? Do we switch to one of those all-meat-no-bread or all-bread-no-meat diets? Invest a few hundred dollars in a membership at that fancy health club with all the high-tech workout equipment? Buy a FitBit? Pin up inspirational magazine pics of fit, skinny people around our work cubicles?

Well you can, if that’s your thing. But here are two things that will probably work a whole lot better:

  1. Consume fewer daily calories (No way!)
  2. Move your body a lot more (*Gasp!*)

I know, I know. These two things are like, physically impossible. But know what? They work for a lot of us. Now, you can join a fancy gym if that’s what works for you, and you can afford it. But really, there are a lot of activities you can try which will help you in your journey, whether your goal is weight loss or maintenance, physical fitness, or just overall enjoyment of life. Here are a few ideas:

Health club/Gym (This means actually going several times a week and like, using the equipment)

Yoga / Zumba / Pilates / Cardio Kickboxing class

Adult sports leagues: Soccer, basketball, volleyball, softball (Especially soccer. Try that one first)

Frisbee

Tennis (try looking for a local meetup group if you need a partner)

Hiking

Dancing (classes or casually)

Roller skating / ice skating / inline skating

Running (Try Couch to 5K ® if you’re not sure where to begin)

Swimming / water aerobics

Paddleboarding / kayaking / rowing

Cross-fit (Some people love the group experience and varied routines)

Cycling (You don’t need an expensive, fancy bike to enjoy biking, and it’s great local transportation, too)

running sports fitness

Just remember: What works for one person may not work for another. I, for example, wouldn’t play basketball if you paid me. But I am crazy about soccer, Frisbee, and tennis. Also, don’t be too quick to decide that a physical activity is not right for you. I was once adamant that my body was not built for running. But I made a commitment to try it for six months, and guess what? I ended up with a body that was built for running. Go figure! At the end of the day, it’s all about which type of exercise will motivate you to get up and move on a regular basis. Every little bit that you do is a step toward achieving your health and fitness goals.

Pink Cleats and Salt (aka: Still a Soccer Mom)

I am still a soccer mom.

I know; that’s kind of a weird thing to say when none of your three kids even play soccer anymore. My oldest, who played soccer since preschool, quit after not making the high school team. My daughter, the former competitive gymnast, tried soccer for one year, then decided she was more into track and cross-country. The youngest kid detests sports of any kind. Go figure.

But I am still a soccer mom. I am as passionate as ever about the sport, and will happily spend an entire weekend shouting at the television, rooting for my favorite teams from around the world and here in the USA (while doing homework, of course). And though my kids no longer play the sport, I am currently on two indoor soccer teams and one outdoor team.

Yes, outdoor soccer. That’s my newest adventure, running around in the wet, muddy grass on a field that seems as large as three football fields by the end of the game. Here’s a picture of my favorite ball and my pretty pink cleats, which are now muddy and not-so-pretty:

Tiare Soccer Ball and Pink Shoes 2015 (2)

Am I any good at it? Well, if you judge the skill of a forward by her ability to score goals, then I’m not very good yet. And maybe I’ll never be quite as good as the other women I play with, many of whom have been playing outdoor soccer for years and have far more skill. But it’s fun. Mostly.

Here’s the part that’s not fun: all the running. I am just not that into running. I love to run fast, but only for like, ten seconds. After that, I’m ready for a nap. That’s why I’m not a midfielder (unless I have to be).

Here’s the other part that’s not fun: the salt.

Yes, you read that right. Apparently, whenever I play outdoor soccer, I sweat salt. Great salty beads that drip into my eyes and sting like soap. Salty sweat that crusts on my skin and clothes when it dries, so I look like I rolled in chalk after each game.

Yeah, I know it’s just salt, but IT’S SO GRODY!! Ew!

Apparently, salty sweat is a perfectly natural, healthy thing. It tends to happen to athletes who eat a low-sodium diet, which I guess I do (unless I’m eating my favorite food, popcorn). So I just have to wipe the salt from my brow, drink a lot of Gatorade, and suck it up until I can get home and hop in the shower (not a bath, unless I want to turn the tub into a mini-ocean).

More on this salty sweat thing: http://www.training-conditioning.com/2007/08/09/salt_in_their_sweat/index.php

Yesterday, I did something really crazy. I played in a women’s soccer tournament. That meant three games in one day. That also meant two small bottles of water, two large bottles of Gatorade, and a very, very long shower afterward. And then what did this soccer fanatic do? No, sadly, I missed the USA vs. Mexico soccer match (which we lost, thanks to Javier “Chicharito” Hernandez). Instead, I baked sugar cookies with my kids, then snuggled with them on the couch, watching Pitch Perfect 2. Because I’m a soccer mom. And the Mom part always comes first.

C Pumpkin Sugar Cookies

Zzzzzzz (aka: You Really Need More Sleep)

sleeping Focus on the light. Relax your mind. You’re getting sleeeeepy…

Oh wait. Hang on. If you fall asleep, then you’ll miss reading the rest of this blog post. And you really don’t want to miss it, because today we are focusing on the most important thing in your life (whether you acknowledge it or not).

You guessed it. The most important thing in your life is sleep. And if you are like many Americans, you’re not getting enough of it. Get Some Sleep

It’s the strangest thing. From a very young age, the importance of getting good, regular sleep is drilled into our brains. Take a nap! Go to bed right now, young lady! What — are you still awake reading books with a flashlight? Ten points from Ravenclaw!

Yawn.

Sleep is such a dreadful bore, isn’t it? Especially when we have work to do, soccer games to watch, and kids to shuttle around town to activities. And then, to top it all off, we have to spend another 7-8 hours in bed, doing absolutely nothing? So unproductive!

Of course, there’s that part we like to forget about. That part in which not getting enough regular good sleep can be hazardous to our health, as well as the health of people around us. Need a reminder? Okay. Not getting enough sleep can lead to:

Weight gain

Memory difficulties

Cognitive Impair

Diminished sex life

Irritability / Mood Swings

Decreased attention span

Inability to adapt to change

Heart disease

Diabetes

Weakened immune system

Depression / apathy

Diminished decision-making ability

Higher risk of auto accidents

sleep deprivationOkay time out. This list sounds just as bad as those side-effect lists on drug commercials. Diseases! Cognitive decline! Depression! Potentially deadly auto accidents! And yet, even knowing this, many of us will push off sleep until we absolutely can’t keep our eyes open. Just one more episode. Just one more chapter. Just one more hour of this exciting video game. Just one more zzzzz….

I’d write some more about sleep, but you know what? I think I’ll just go and get some.

How much sleep do you really need

Sources:

http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/sdd/why

http://www.apa.org/topics/sleep/why.aspx

http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/9-reasons-to-sleep-more

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/teenbrain/from/sleep.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/11/natural-sleep-aids_n_3882229.html

It’s All in the Blood (aka: Reverse the Aging Process)

vampires drinking blood of youthSo it turns out that vampires may have something with the whole “drink blood, live forever” thing. No, seriously. It’s kind of old news now, but around a year ago, scientists at the Harvard Stem Cell Institute made one of the freakiest discoveries ever – that the blood of the young may very well hold the key to reversing the aging process.

Wait! Stop! Step away from the babies. It’s not enough to drink the blood of children. Besides, that’s just…gross. The only way you can truly benefit from the youth-granting benefits of the GDF11 protein is through blood transfusions. I know. Needles. *Shudders.*

It is inevitable that each one of us (if we’re lucky) will one day suffer the symptoms of the fatal disease we call Old Age. It’s like a devastating worldwide plague for which there is no cure. Some people, through fault of unlucky genes or poor lifestyle choices, fall victim to it sooner than average; while others somehow defy gravity for much longer.fountain of youth Family Guy silly

Me? I plan to stay young till the very end. No, not from stealing my children’s blood. I’m not that desperate…yet. However, as luck has it, I come from a long line of people who don’t seem to age quickly and live to be close to 100. That, plus I love candy. Maybe that’s awful for my teeth, but there’s something about snacking on jellybeans and sugar sticks that makes me feel young and carefree.

But hey, even if you don’t care for candy and come from a lineage that’s…different, there are a few things you can do to hold back the inevitable sands of time which threaten to smother us all:

  1. Fall in love with vegetables. Candy may be dandy, but vegetables are the true elixir of life. The vitamins and antioxidants and phytochemicals not only work to protect the body from cancer and other illnesses, but they help you to look and feel your best, which are two of the biggest ways to stay young.
  2. Move your body. Put down the cell phones. Turn off the screens. There are so many ways to exercise, that unless you suffer from some sort of chronic condition other than aging, you have no excuses for not exercising regularly. Walk fast, run, skate, play a sport, take the stairs on purpose, park in the back of the behemoth Walmart parking lot. Just move it.  exercise_stay_healthy
  3. Use your brain. Sadly, too few people do this. It is so much more convenient to just parrot everyone else’s words and watch reality television shows. But – oh! The amazing things we can do if we just put our minds to it. Play chess, play Scrabble (against me, if you dare), read some challenging literature, take a class, learn a new language. Studies show that regularly exercising our brains really can work to protect us against some of the diseases of aging, such as dementia or Alzheimer’s. Think about it.
  4. Stop smoking, drink less. Haven’t you heard this advice a million times already? If not, well, memory loss is one of the first signs of Alzheimer’s.
  5. Say yes to Omega-3 and no to saturated fats.
  6. I am a huge proponent of sleep. At least 7-8 hours per night for grownups, and more for kids. Not just sleep, but good sleep. Try shifting your routine to wind down an hour before getting shut-eye. Read a book, meditate, listen to calming music, enjoy a glass of wine, have sex if that’s your thing. Do whatever helps you to have a peaceful, restorative sleep.
  7. Be connected. Having close relationships with friends or family is correlated not only with longer life, but happier life, too.

 

Hmm…I still fall pretty short on that last one. Maybe that means I won’t live as long as my ancestors. On the other hand, I do have three children…

forever young infinity

Cake Intolerant (aka: Mother Nature is a Comedienne)

Snow White CakeI’ve finally come to accept the old adage, You can’t have your cake and eat it, too. Yes, I know, this saying wasn’t meant to be taken literally. It’s supposed to mean that you can’t have two things that you desire if having one will cancel out the other. However, in my case, I literally can’t have my cake and eat it, too.

I used to love cake. When I was a kid, it was my favorite dessert. Spongy, angel-white birthday cake with creamy whipped icing. Thick, sweet slices of soft, butter-yellow cake topped with thick, gooey chocolate frosting – aahhhh! Cake was something to look forward to. Better than ice cream. Better than anything.

But then, Mother Nature decided to play a little joke. I can picture her now, hunched over in a grove of trees in a forest somewhere, rubbing her wicked hands together. “I know,” she says, her eyes flashing with mischief. “I’ll curse Tiare’s body and make her unable to enjoy this delectable treat.” There is a flash of lightning, and Boom! The curse is set.

Around a decade ago, I learned that cake had become my enemy. You know how some people are lactose intolerant? Well, apparently, I am now cake intolerant. Wait a minute, you say. That is so not a thing! There’s no such thing as cake intolerance. Anyone can enjoy a slice of cake. Surely, there is a pill, or a psychological treatment, or an alternative recipe that will allow you to eat cake like everyone else.

First of all, alternative cake recipes are just…grody. If it isn’t made with butter, sugar, flour with actual gluten, and fresh eggs, well then, I am not interested. Second of all, there is no cure, because cake intolerance is not a real disease. I am not allergic to anything in the cake – just the cake itself.

Sadly, my sweet tooth has not fully caught up with my inability to eat this dessert. For example, I decided to bake a carrot cake for my kids and me to eat after Easter dinner. It turned out perfectly – brown sugar-sweet, filled with pecans and cinnamon, spread with a smooth, thick cream-cheese frosting. Just the aroma alone was enough to make my mouth water. I didn’t go crazy – only helped myself to one delicious slice after a small dinner.

Mistake. Big mistake. My poor stomach gave quite a protest in the middle of the night, as though yelling, “Stupid, stupid, stupid – remember Mother Nature? You can’t eat cake, idiot!”

Me after eating cake

So the next day, I decided to eat another slice. Because hey – there’s no such thing as cake intolerance, right? Surely it was just a fluke. Plus, that cake was just soooo good. Stomachache amnesia fogged my memories as I happily indulged in that second slice. But then…

Trust me, you do not want the gory details. Let’s just say that Montezuma himself couldn’t have plotted a more vicious revenge.

rich chocolate cakeI’m done. No more cake. No carrot, no old-fashioned butter yellow, no birthday white, no angel’s or devil’s food. No cake. You win, Mother Nature, you win. I will return to the days of baking lovely, homemade cakes for everyone else while never eating a single bite. I concede.

And somewhere in her forest grove, Mother Nature cackles with glee. “That was too easy,” she says. “You might even say…that was a piece of cake.”

Sometimes You Have to Be Your Own Hero

I have wanted to write about the subject of domestic abuse for a very long time. But it is hard to do. I am mostly a humor writer, or writer of stories, poems, and lighthearted topics. However, there are some subjects that I feel need to be brought out of the darkness and into the light. Domestic abuse — physical, emotional, financial, and sexual, can happen to anyone. It happened to me. I do not have the courage to share my story in this very public way. But I would like to say to any women out there who are now where I once was, and feeling trapped and helpless, that:

You are not alone.

There is always a way out.

Sometimes you have to save yourself (and your children).

Don’t buy the lies — it is not your fault!

You are stronger than you think.

You have the right to feel safe in your relationship.

The Five Forms of Domestic Violence

Physical

Inflicting or attempting to inflict physical injury
example: grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hitting, biting, arm-twisting, kicking, punching, hitting with blunt objects, stabbing, shooting

Withholding access to resources necessary to maintain health example: medication, medical care, wheelchair, food or fluids, sleep, hygienic assistance Forcing alcohol or other drug use

Sexual

Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact without consent
example: marital rape, acquaintance rape, forced sex after physical beating, attacks on the sexual parts of the body, forced prostitution, fondling, sodomy, sex with others

Attempting to undermine the victim’ sexuality
example: treating him/her in a sexually derogatory manner, criticizing sexual performance and desirability, accusations of infidelity, withholding sex

Psychological

Instilling or attempting to instill fear
example: intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, victim, and/or others, threatening to harm and/or kidnap children, menacing, blackmail, harassment, destruction of pets and property, mind games, stalking

Isolating or attempting to isolate victim from friends, family, school, and/or work example: withholding access to phone and/or transportation, undermining victim’s personal relationships, harassing others, constant “checking up,” constant accompaniment, use of unfounded accusations, forced imprisonment

Emotional

Undermining or attempting to undermine victim sense of worth
example: constant criticism, belittling victim’s abilities and competency, name-calling, insults, put-downs, silent treatment, manipulating victim’s feelings and emotions to induce guilt, subverting a partner’s relationship with the children, repeatedly making and breaking promises

Economic

Making or attempting to make the victim financially dependent
example: maintaining total control over financial resources including victim’s earned income or resources received through public assistance or social security, withholding money and/or access to money, forbidding attendance at school, forbidding employment, on-the-job harassment, requiring accountability and justification for all money spent, forced welfare fraud, withholding information about family running up bills for which the victim is responsible for payment

Marital Rape | Psych Central.

Types of Domestic Abuse

Guidelines for Leaving an Abusive Relationship

Health Central: Warning Signs

Why Do Abuse Victims Stay?  (Understanding is the key to being supportive)

 

 

Why Don’t I Know How to Make Friends? (aka: Adult Friendships)

Shy adult can't make friends(Okay, a brief pause from poetry appreciation to address this confusing and overwhelming topic of friendship).

Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult? Okay, well, maybe it isn’t hard for most adults. Maybe many adults make acquaintances and friends easily, thanks to adept social skills, more outgoing personalities, etc. And certainly for many adults, it is less devastating when friendships end, because it is not so difficult to move on to the next friendship. I wish that I knew how to be that way.

But here I am, 38 years old and feeling once again like the misfit kid on the school playground, reading a book instead of playing tetherball – not because I don’t love to play tetherball, but because no one has invited me. Or because I asked to join the game and was told, no way, not you. So what do you do? You sit on the bench and read a book, and pretend that that is what you really wanted to do all along. You watch the other kids run and laugh and play together, and you study them, trying to absorb their happiness and companionship as your own. You listen to their conversations, trying to figure out the “right” way to talk and the “right” way to be, so that you will be accepted.

Because we all just want to be accepted.

So I decided to ask Google. “Google, how do adults make friends?” Well, Google had all kinds of ideas.

  1. Join a Club

Okay, great idea. After all, in the past, I made friends by being part of college Christian clubs and young married couple church clubs and new mommy clubs. And so I have been attending (almost) monthly Meetups for around a year for people learning Spanish. Unfortunately, the faces often change and many of the people are retired seniors. Recently, I joined a group for single parents. My kids and I attended one event. I had a lot of fun, thanks to my kids. But after the initial introductions, most of the other adults engaged in conversation while I hung back, observing and listening, not sure how to break into the other people’s conversations. (Blame it on extreme shyness. I hate being shy).

  1. Invite a co-worker out for lunch or drinks

This would be so great if I had that kind of job. The truth is, I work in isolation in a cubicle jungle, surrounded by empty cubicles. I get most of my job assignments via email and often go days without saying much more than hello and goodbye to my supervisor. Not conducive to one’s social life.

  1. Plan a party and invite all of your acquaintances

The last time I threw a party was four years ago, during the last World Cup. I invited more than a dozen people. Three came (not counting children). It is very hard to throw a party when you don’t know people well, and very disappointing when no one shows up.

  1. Ask your friends for recommendations

Hahaha! Good one.

  1. Seek out friends of friends

This makes so much sense, as friends of friends may also share your common interests. But practically speaking, this doesn’t work when you don’t already have friends.

  1. Take a class

As a college student, I take many classes. But most of these are online, and the others are mostly filled with teens and young adults.

  1. Join an adult recreational sports league

I have been playing recreational indoor soccer for a few years. I love it, and it is a great stress release. But my teammates and I never get past the acquaintance, small-talk stage. Maybe we just lack that certain vibe, who knows?

 

Some of the advice I’ve read online is simply ridiculous. For example, on the site http://www.adultsocialskills.com/howtomakefriends.htm, written for loners like me, the authors give the advice that other people prefer those whom they perceive to be social. Therefore, it is better to pretend as though you have other friends. It is also better to pretend that you are interested in those things which other people are interested in, to make yourself appear to be more like them. In other words, fake it. Is this really how other people build friendships, based on insincerity? No thanks.

The Help Guide had this suggestion:

Attachment and relationships

How you bonded with a parent or caretaker as an infant will determine how you relate to others as an adult. Those who experienced confusing emotional communications during infancy often grow into adults who have difficulty understanding their own emotions and the feelings of others. This limits your ability to build or maintain successful friendships. Read Attachment & Adult Relationships.

Of course, I followed the link and read all about attachment – a topic which I studied intensely my first time through university as a Child Development major. And yes, I recognize within myself my own insecure attachment issues, which probably continue to make it difficult to form meaningful attachments, or to detach from them once I have bonded with others. It also explains why I feel so mistrustful of other people, and fear a bandonment, and have trouble reading social cues, and blah, blah, blah. But knowing and knowing what to do about it are two separate issues.

So thanks, Google, but I am now back to square one, stuck in a constant loop of loneliness. And so I retreat to my cave, where I will bury my nose in a book, occasionally looking up to observe the rest of the world, and try to absorb the contentment they must feel from being so connected and accepted. And I will tell the world and tell myself (because it is less painful to convince myself), that this is all I really need.

 

how to make friends

 

Where Have All the Crunchy Granola Moms Gone?

ImageI was taken aback the first time someone referred to me as a Crunchy Granola Mom. It was years ago, after my first son was born.

“What’s a Crunchy Granola Mom?” I asked. Apparently, it was the name for moms like me – moms who were crazy about natural childbirth, exclusive breastfeeding, attached parenting, and co-sleeping. Moms who obsessed over healthy foods, natural remedies, and homeschooling. Moms who bought ridiculously expensive, dye-free wooden toys for their babies to teethe upon, and encouraged their kids to run and play in the rain. Moms who wanted to raise children who think for themselves, even if that means going against the grain. Crunchy like the raw carrots growing in our organic gardens. Wholesome as granola.

The nickname made me smile even more so than the other labels for moms like me – Attached Parents. Neo-Hippies. Afterschoolers. Earth Moms. Whatever you want to call it, I had swallowed the red pill and become a member of the Crunchy Sisterhood. I spent many happy years wearing my babies in slings, serving my kids homemade, super-healthy meals, cloth-diapering, and setting them loose to explore the world in their own natural way, at their own natural pace.

It’s a funny thing, though. Now that my kids are older, that Crunchy Granola Mom title seems to have rubbed off. It’s not that my parenting style or ideals have changed that much. I still value wholesome foods, natural remedies, and being in tune with my children. I still encourage my kids to run and play in the rain. It’s just that labels just don’t seem to stick to parents of older school-age kids. When you’re a parent of young kids, your philosophy of child-rearing becomes your philosophy of life in general. It defines you, and determines where you belong in the parenting social world.

But there is a shift as the children grow to become more and more their own independent people and less a reflection of your parenting philosophy. It’s a strange thing, after spending so many years being Crunchy Granola Mom. Now I have learned to step back and bite my tongue as my teen chooses to eat chocolate Pop Tarts for breakfast instead of my homemade oatmeal-apple-raisin muffins. Because he is moving forward at his own natural pace, and thinking for himself, even if that means going against the grain. And, well, wasn’t that the whole point?

Image

Ode to a Natural Child

Oh wild green branch

tender as the spring

let the rain be your first drink

let the wind be your song

and the sun drench your tangled hair

as you twirl, restless, dizzy

a kite set free

in the summer sky

 

 

Weight Loss is a Piece of (Low-Calorie) Cake. Plus Exercise.

Healthy weight lossWeight loss is not that hard. Okay, well, if you already have the body of an almost-anorexic fashion model, and you are trying to lose ten more pounds, that is probably hard. But most Americans – especially we women, do not have the bodies of fashion models. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the prevalence of overweight adults in this country (determined by a Body Mass Index, or BMI of 25 or greater) is 69.2%, and the percentage of those considered obese (A BMI of 30 or greater) is 35.9%.

We have so many excuses for our unhealthy weight. I have big bones. I inherited a slow metabolism. Many people have simply given up on weight loss and chosen to embrace their excess weight. Now, I am not saying that this is a bad thing. If a person is in good health, does not suffer from weight-related health issues, and has a positive self-image, then that is a wonderful thing and should be commended. But for those who are unhappy with their figures, who complain about problems with their aching joints or bad backs, or who have weight-related health concerns, then here is my question: why haven’t you lost the weight?

I come from a family with many overweight and obese people (not very unusual for Black American families). And I, at one time, was also quite overweight. At my highest non-pregnant weight, my BMI was 29.9 – teetering dangerously on the edge of obesity. I, too, had excuses. Children. Lack of time for the gym. Genes. I refused to go jogging, because I was certain that my top-heavy body was not built for it. But it was not until I decided that it was important enough that I really began to shed pounds. And you know what? It really was not that hard to do. Sure, it took discipline, but can you name one good accomplishment in life that does not take discipline? Eventually, after two years of lifestyle changes, I lost 70 pounds. And now, around four years after I began the journey, I have still managed to keep my weight in a healthy, normal BMI range. I am no super hero. I do not have an eating disorder. I just try my best to make regular healthy decisions about food and exercise. Almost anyone can do it successfully, and here’s how:

  1. KNOW YOUR CALORIES

Calories count. Eat more calories than you burn off, and you will gain weight. Eat fewer than you burn off, and you will lose weight. It is really that simple. It does not matter if those calories come from carbs or protein. Eat whatever the hell makes your taste buds happy and leaves you healthy and satisfied. But make it a point to know how many calories are in each food that you eat. Stuffed yourself with a huge, 700-calorie breakfast? Balance it with a lower calorie lunch and dinner. My goal is to keep my daily caloric intake somewhere between 1,200 to 1,500. Most days I do just fine. Every now and then, I go crazy and eat a dozen homemade cookies. And that’s okay.

My favorite source for calorie tracking? http://caloriecount.about.com/ It is free, easy to use, and has a great app for mobile calorie counting.

healthy weight success

  1. MOVE YOUR BODY

It is not all about the diet sodas and low-cal salad dressing. It is not all about the smaller serving sizes. Unless you plan to starve yourself, it is pretty much impossible to maintain a healthy body weight without exercise. Oh, I know, I know. Your knees hurt. Your back hurts. You’re not built for running. You have cholinergic urticaria. Oh wait – these were my excuses, remember? Unless you are a paraplegic, you can exercise. Don’t like running? Then walk for an hour every day. Swim. Do yoga. Try a Zumba class. Ride your bike to the store. Play a sport in an adult league. Jump rope. It really doesn’t matter, as long as you do it regularly. Aim for no less than 3 times per week. And do not “reward” your hard work with treats.

  1. MEET YOUR OTHER NEEDS

Many people tend to overeat or skip exercise due to some other need not being met. Give your body and spirit what it needs to maintain balance. Get enough sleep. Find healthy outlets to help you manage your stress. Stay busy with work, playing with your kids, cleaning house, or volunteering in your community. When your other physical and emotional needs are met, then you may find yourself naturally eating less food and moving your body more.

  1. MAKE IT SOCIAL

I realize that not everyone in the world lives in social isolation like me. Lots of people have more success meeting their personal goals with the encouragement of a partner or group. If that is you, then give it a try. Sign up for a local Weight Watchers group. Join a group aerobics class. Go walking or jogging with a partner. Chime in on a weight-loss forum. Many people who have successfully lost weight and kept it off have done it with the support and motivation of like-minded peers.

That’s it. Four tips. Four easy steps to consider when you are finally ready to make the change to a healthier way of living. Notice – I did not say “go on a diet.” A diet is temporary. But true healthy weight management is the result of permanent changes to your lifestyle that result in a healthier (and smaller) you.

Losing pounds