Snags in the Plan (aka: Sew-Sew Sewing)

   Like most people, I have a list of things that I’m pretty good at, and a list of things that Im not. For example, I’m pretty good that cooking tasty, nutritious meals for my kids and me. I’m also good at writing, daily exercise, and spending long periods of time in my cave, in total silence, with zero social interaction.

However, I’m pretty bad at a few things, too. Human relationships, for one. Doing push-ups (unless you count “girl” push-ups). I also suck at remembering to put those reusable shopping bags in my car so that I can actually take them to the supermarket. And now, I shall have to add sewing to that list.

I know, I know. What?! You’re no good at sewing? You are a disgrace to former SAHM/homemakers everywhere! We are revoking your card.

Throughout the years, I have tried all sorts of handicrafts. After all, the ability to make things by hand traditionally defined the worthiness of a woman. Ok, so I couldn’t care less about that part. But handicrafts are also supposed to be a simple way to relax, with scientifically proven benefits of reducing stress and anxiety. I got really into scrapbooking and rubber stamping back when everyone was obsessed with throwing Scrapping parties and trading supplies at potlucks. I also really enjoyed quilting, and still occasionally make beaded jewelry. Those crafts were good, and fun. I can feel the stress and anxiety melting away as I slide tiny beads onto a string, or paste photos onto pretty patterned papers.

But sewing? Forget it.

This year, I fell in love with a Halloween costume. Even worse, it is a Halloween costume that is not being sold in stores anywhere. But the more I thought about it, the more obsessed I became. I simply had to wear it to the company Halloween costume party this year! No problem, I thought. They sell the pattern at my local fabric store. I can simply sew the costume.

I am now convinced that my sewing machine has magic powers. One of those is the power to induce amnesia in me whenever I store the machine away in the closet for a couple of years. I forget how things went the last time I attempted to sew. I forget about the snagged thread, the broken needles, and jammed bobbins. I forget about how the finished product often looks like a Kindergarten crayon drawing version of whatever I was trying to sew. This time was no exception. I dusted off the machine, added a little lubricating oil, and plunged right in, as optimistic as always.

A few minutes in, I realized that vinyl lettering is very, very hard to cut. A few minutes later, I realized that the fine print was telling me that I had to sew darts in the bodice. Huh? What are darts?

Two days, and several How to Sew Darts videos later, I learned that my machine hates to sew stretchy fabric. It tends to retaliate by snagging every ten seconds.

One day after that, I held up the bodice to my new costume, complete with darts, shiny vinyl lettering, and two sleeve openings, sewn shut. One hour later, and I was a bonafide expert in using a seam ripper.

There are still two weeks remaining before Halloween. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to start sewing the skirt by then. Maybe I can win a prize for “Most Effort.” Next year, please remind me to buy a costume at the store, like normal humans do.

Busy Hands (aka: Old-Fashioned, Homemade Christmas)

My hands tend to be very busy this time of year. The closer the calendar creeps toward Christmas, the more my hands are in motion — wrapping, measuring, mixing, quilting, embroidering, cutting, stitching, tying, icing, writing, beading, and stamping. A part of me would love to see a return of the homemade Christmas, in which the gift exchanges rely less on department stores and more on the time-honored tradition of handcrafting. Of course, my kids would be crushed if I were to give them hand-made toys in place of the electronic games they love so much. Also, this year, my boys are really hoping that Santa will bring them pet rats, and I can’t exactly make those by hand. (Rat treats, maybe?)

A quilt I am making

A long time ago, when I actually belonged to a social circle, my hands stayed even busier this time of year. I participated in cookie exchange parties and homemade ornament exchange parties. I hand-stamped, embossed, and glittered dozens of exquisite holiday greeting cards. I gave gifts of home-baked goodies, unique soaps, hand-beaded jewelry, and scrapbooks of memories, even a rare quilt or two, all of which I spent hours, days, even months preparing. It takes a lot to create a gift for another person. But to me, it means so much more to give a gift which comes – not from a store shelf or factory, but from my heart and hands. My Homemade Gift Tags

This year, my hands are much less busy. Not because I have lost the desire to create and give homemade gifts, but because I have fewer people in my life. However, I did manage to make some gorgeous gift tags to tie on packages, and at the moment, I am attempting to make a rather complicated friendship bracelet (which I suppose I will give to my 12yo daughter). And, as always, I am passing the days of December in a puff of flour and a dusting of sugar, singing Christmas carols as I mix, shape, and bake dozens upon dozens of special homemade Christmas cookies, to give away to family and — well, mostly strangers. The house is filled with the aroma of cinnamon, cardamom, and vanilla (not to mention the pungent fragrance of fir tree) — the traditional, homemade aroma which, to my children and me, carries the hope and promise of the arrival of Christmas Day.

homemade treats Xmas