Barefoot is Better (aka: Online Pairing)

Two days ago, I decided it was time to go shopping for a package of socks. It’s not that I really felt that I needed to wear socks. I’m quite content to pad around the house in my bare feet. There’s a lot of freedom in going barefoot, in fact. My feet are always cool and comfortable, and my toes have all the space they need to wiggle around. I can dig my toes into the sand, or let the grass tickle the soles of my feet, just like when I was a little girl. I can even get creative with my own feet, painting my toenails any fun color I want, without an oppressive pair of socks coming along to cover them up.

It is liberating, being sock-less.

barefoot is better

But every so often, I glance around at the feet of other people. And I realize something — many, many people wear socks. And the ones who are not wearing socks are often out shopping for socks, or lamenting over their lack of socks. Some people even seem to wear a different pair of socks every day.

Sole-Mates Socks

Going barefoot all the time, it seems, is rather unusual in the world of grownups. Everyone else acts like the purpose of life is to find a sole-mate. (See what I did there?)

I have also noticed that there are certain things that one doesn’t do without wearing socks. At least, not as well. For example, I do not ever go out to restaurants in my bare feet. Nor to concerts, or live sporting events, or out-of-town fun trips, or wine-tasting, or a number of other things that sound like they would be really, really fun to do one day. But not barefoot. That would just be…awkward.

And so, I signed up to go shopping at a popular (and expensive) virtual store that specializes in socks for the sock-less. Just as advertised, after I answered a series of questions ranging from silly to deeply personal, the site’s algorithms selected a variety of socks for me to consider, some of which were selected as being highly “compatible” with my feet.

At first, it was amusing to sift through the socks. They came in every imaginable size, and lots of patterns. There were some with serious, no-nonsense pinstripes, some with goofy, rainbow-colored polka-dots, and even a couple of plain ones filled with so many holes, I wonder how on earth they made it past quality assurance to wind up on my dashboard.

lots of different socks

I even got a couple of messages from some of the socks, and responded politely (because apparently, exchanging polite chit-chat is something socks can do on online stores). Some of the messages made me smile, and a couple, well, made my bare feet want to run away. I wondered, though, what was supposed to happen next. Was I supposed to utter some magic words in order to check the socks out of the store? Is there some point when I’m supposed to wear them around once or twice, maybe to a restaurant,  or a sporting event, or a concert? Or is it up to the sock to make that happen?

And would it be frowned-upon to write “I don’t know what the heck I’m doing,” on my profile? I feel clueless, like a child who has just wandered into a casino, and is overwhelmed by the loud, clanging, buzzing machines, and choking on the smoke of cigarettes.

It also occurred to me that a large number of the socks were silent. No polite conversations. No peeks at my barefoot profile. Part of me understands that this is normal. That it’s all part of the sock-and-foot matching world. And that its only been two days. But another part of me feels indignant, certain that it has something to do with the toasty-brown shade of the skin on my feet. Because, I’m guessing, not a single one of my chosen matched socks has ever been worn by a toasty-brown foot before. Peachy-tan feet, probably, or rosy beige, or creamy ivory. But perhaps they see toasty brown feet and get nervous, their little sock minds filling with all kinds of ignorant ideas about what I must be like, due to my brownness.

I am halfway tempted to create an identical profile to my own, but put up pictures of a woman who looks similar to me, but with lighter skin, just to test that theory. But I won’t. Because if that really is the issue, then whatevs. Any er…sock who is unable to look past the color of my skin in order to see the kind, intelligent, thoughtful, witty, talented woman I am does not deserve to grace even one of my feet.

Sim Tiare

White Sim Tiare

And anyway, it’s okay if nothing comes of my browsing around the online sock store. In fact, it would be a bit of a relief. Then I will not have to reveal myself as a fraud — one who is so perfectly comfortable going sock-less, and so horribly out of her element with socks on her feet. They will be expecting me to love wearing socks and shoes, like so many other people do. Then I will have to wear them, because I am committed to do so, and will have to go back to tiptoeing around my home in discomfort, my poor toes squeezed and pinched, my feet blistered from friction…

It is oh-so-easy for me to talk myself out of visiting the sock store. Maybe it means I am still not ready, even after years of being sock-free. Maybe it means that I will never be ready; that I am a rare individual who simply was not meant to wear socks. I guess I will go and take a nice long, barefoot walk in the grass and think it all through. Because that is what I do best.

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A Souffle is Not a Life Goal (aka: Pondering the 5yr Plan)

“What is your dream?”

future aheadOne of my coworkers wrote this question on the top of a large white board that hangs outside his cubicle. Over the course of a few days, other workers stopped by to scrawl their ideas on the board, some realistic, some not so much. I paused a few times just to stare at the blank white space, as though waiting for inspiration to appear below the colorful writing.

But nothing came.

What is your dream? Sometimes, I look around the internet and begin to feel left out of this whole passion movement. “Follow your passion.” “Don’t give up on your dream.” “If you can dream it, you can do it.” I feel a flutter of panic – wait, I’m supposed to have a dream? I’m supposed to have some specific, long-range goal that fills me with fire whenever I think about it? But what if, right this moment, all I have is a half-dozen lukewarm short-term goals? I would really like, for example, to learn how to cook a soufflé. Does that count as a dream? Is it healthy to crave a simple glass of water, or must I desire the entire lake? perfect cheese souffle

It isn’t that I never have large goals. I have set and fulfilled some rather large goals in my life, which were important to me at one time or another along the journey. But now?

Then I had a bright idea – Pinterest! Surely Pinterest can help me to organize my muddled dreams and goals for the future. Okay, I’m totally kidding. Except for the occasional awesome recipe (like soufflés, for example) or hilarious joke, I mostly find Pinterest a dull way to spend time. But the other day, a particular post jumped out at me: The 5-Year Plan. So I clicked the link, and found this:

5-Year Plan Template

Well, that seems so simple. It should be easy to make a 5-year plan, right?

Wrong.

It was far easier to come up with tentative, bucket-list style plans that may or may not ever happen. It is far, far harder to make attainable, realistic, mid-range plans, especially if you also have to muster up some passion about them.

Career – This is the simplest. Finish earning my two college degrees and a couple more IT certs. Get a decent, full-time, well-paying job in the industry – preferably one that will lead me down the Systems Admin/Network Admin trail. This is definitely my career goal. Am I confident about it? Absolutely. Passionate? Some days.

Financial – This totally depends on the career goal.

Social – Umm…next?

Family – Well, I’ve already got this great family with my three great kids and me. Adding a dog would be cool, if our landlord allowed it. I hesitate to use university as a family goal, since a college education should be my children’s goal for their lives, not mine.

Health – Stay healthy. Keep on keepin’ on.

Relationship – Nada.

Travel – This is the only life goal that really gets my heart pumping. I have a long list of places I am dying to visit. But within 5 years? That all depends on financial goals, which all depend on career goals. So it is really hard to invest energy into getting passionate about it.

After pondering this plan, I also perused a few other websites about creating a 5-Year Plan. But the ideas were quite similar. Decide where your passions lie (Travel, doing fun things with my kids, my career path, writing). Write out a 5-year plan. Then create short-term objectives toward reaching that goal. Since the only solid plan I made had to do with career, the next step was easy: get off the computer and do your homework, dummy!

The perfect soufflé can wait.